Mostly ok

I am mostly ok today.

I was contacted by my significant other (supposedly) yesterday telling me that he had to reschedule dinner with his 5 year old child and his father, that is visiting from out of state, to this evening. He asked if he could be dropped off at my place afterwards and if I could get him to the bus stop Thursday morning. I got frustrated and asked if his dad was going to do a one on one meal with all the grandchildren and also stated that going to that bus stop had only worked once. I got yelled at because this was the only way the 5 year old would be able to see his grandfather since the child's mother had been refusing visitation again, and there just wasn't time to get a court date for a custody/visitation hearing before the grandfather left. Nevermind that there have been problems with visitation on and off for 4 years and it was recommended to deal with it years ago and throughout the last 4 years.

I told him that I didn't want to be his girlfriend or wife and I only continue the farce of a relationship with him with the hope that he will pay me the money that he owes me, but since I never see the money anyways I needed to be done. Our conversation ended fairly abruptly after that.

This evening, I contacted him about our child's dentist appointment. He said thank you and to give the children hugs. I contacted the children's grandfather to see if he wanted to spend time with these grandchildren tomorrow. Turns out grandpa is really busy with the schedule that didn't appear to exist when he arrived a week ago and I was trying to set up times to visit. I have to coordinate five people schedules to be able to spend time with him before he leaves. It would be great if I had some idea of when the children could see him before he leaves.

I see that the kids dad and grandfather are at the Twins game tonight. They were supposed to be doing dinner with the 5 year old. I wonder if it was ever dinner in the first place or if the plan was always to take the 5 year old to a game, since he never gets to do that.

I am told I am jealous of what the 5 year old gets. I do not think I am jealous as much as I am hurt on behalf of our children that appear to be slighted and treated differently. The children already have enough feelings of inadequacy in regards to their dad that seeing the one child be treated differently just adds to it.

I really need to get some sleep. Hopefully I get enough to make everything smooth out.