What is your responsibility?
Should you live your life feeling responsible for others happiness and well being? Do you need to inform the other parent of your child that you have moved on even more by having a child with someone else?
Apparently being in your mid-30s means you need to have the constant reassurance that you are the center of some insignificant others world like a teenager. It doesn't matter that you have 3 kids to think about or that you are in a new relationship. It doesn't matter that you have not been with this person for 3+ years. All that matters is that the person make sure to inform you of all of their life decisions that don't involve you and let you vent about how that person screwed up your life by doing this.
If someone has mental instability issues and always seem to be in constant crisis mode every time you speak to them, would you share something that may upset them? I don't know if I would. I suppose it would depend on how much the information should directly impact them. If it is something like getting a new car, that the person will never drive, then why say anything. If its about how the next relationship is working out, but they have never met the new significant other, I wouldn't say anything. If it is about my children or myself having gotten the Chicken Pox or flu and they or their children were around, then yeah I'd say something. Why should I share details about my life that will not impact them?
I received a phone call about how I might have a drunken visitor either at my door, on my phone or contacting me through electronic means. The drunken visitor happened to find out I had a child 6 months ago with the father of her youngest child who is 3. The drunken visitor was not informed of the fact that I as pregnant, I don't know them or talk to them, so I did not say anything. The father choose not to say anything because every time he attempted to start she went into information overload about how her current life crisis was so bad and she was one the verge of losing it mentally. He wanted to share his good news of having another child but the timing never seemed correct.
Apparently during a drinking binge she started looking at pictures on other peoples pages on Facebook that she doesn't normally see because she is not connected with them. She saw pictures of the baby and realized she had ben out of the loop and decided this was a good time to inform her son's father how horrible he was, how he should be punished for not continuing their relationship, her thoughts on running away with their joint child so he never sees him again, how she should just kill herself and how she wishes for his kids and family to die, all while continuing to drink. This started around 11 pm and continued until after 7 am and the oldest child was getting herself up and off to school. The 13 year old child hid the alcohol from their mother and helped get them to bed. What child should have to do this?
Why continue listening to this tirade? Due to her recent stay in the hospital to get her medication correct (which didn't seem to work), her living in a place for people getting help with mental heath issues, the fact that she is mixing alcohol and psyche medication and her threats of killing herself all added up to a fear for the welfare of the children and the woman.
When all is said and done and the woman is passed out drunk, missing her mandatory group meeting for getting mental heath disability, where are the kids? Hopefully the 2 oldest kids made it to school, but who is caring for the 3 year old? Mother is obviously not, maybe the high school kid who is living with her cause his family life is so bad, maybe the high school kid took the youngest to daycare. Who knows?
Should you call in a welfare check on your child? I would call just so I have peace of mind that the child is being cared for. Do you even know where the child goes to daycare? Not at all, because that is not important enough information to be shared with the father. Do you know anything about the random teenager caring for your child? Did you even know that they lived there? No to both questions. Is this teen the same teen who she let smoke pot and cigarettes, drink and have sex with his girlfriend in her garage at the last place she lived? Who knows, you obviously don't.
Now I already have had issues with the care the youngest child receives due to him coming for parenting time ill for months at a time. The poor child had an ear infection and sinus infection for 6+ months, then the mother didn't do the follow-up appointments after surgery, so it was another 6 months of yuckiness. The mothers excuse was that she didn't have experience with children with chronic health issues. That would explain the multiple hospital visits for the second oldest child's asthma, because that is not a chronic health condition, just multiple emergencies requiring hospital care.
It is hard for the weekend warrior parent to make and keep medical appointments with specialists that do not have office hours during the time you have the child. Especially when you used to get them a weekday but after having made appointments for them during their time with you, those visits stopped.
This is why you need a custody and parenting time order. So you have the ability to make sure your child is being cared for, even if you have to do it. You have no rights as a parent without that piece of paper. You are unable to go to their daycare, enforce a verbal parenting time agreement or even have a true say in what time the child will be with you for parenting time. You can not schedule anything because who knows when the other parent will show up with the child or show up to pick up the child.
Apparently being in your mid-30s means you need to have the constant reassurance that you are the center of some insignificant others world like a teenager. It doesn't matter that you have 3 kids to think about or that you are in a new relationship. It doesn't matter that you have not been with this person for 3+ years. All that matters is that the person make sure to inform you of all of their life decisions that don't involve you and let you vent about how that person screwed up your life by doing this.
If someone has mental instability issues and always seem to be in constant crisis mode every time you speak to them, would you share something that may upset them? I don't know if I would. I suppose it would depend on how much the information should directly impact them. If it is something like getting a new car, that the person will never drive, then why say anything. If its about how the next relationship is working out, but they have never met the new significant other, I wouldn't say anything. If it is about my children or myself having gotten the Chicken Pox or flu and they or their children were around, then yeah I'd say something. Why should I share details about my life that will not impact them?
I received a phone call about how I might have a drunken visitor either at my door, on my phone or contacting me through electronic means. The drunken visitor happened to find out I had a child 6 months ago with the father of her youngest child who is 3. The drunken visitor was not informed of the fact that I as pregnant, I don't know them or talk to them, so I did not say anything. The father choose not to say anything because every time he attempted to start she went into information overload about how her current life crisis was so bad and she was one the verge of losing it mentally. He wanted to share his good news of having another child but the timing never seemed correct.
Apparently during a drinking binge she started looking at pictures on other peoples pages on Facebook that she doesn't normally see because she is not connected with them. She saw pictures of the baby and realized she had ben out of the loop and decided this was a good time to inform her son's father how horrible he was, how he should be punished for not continuing their relationship, her thoughts on running away with their joint child so he never sees him again, how she should just kill herself and how she wishes for his kids and family to die, all while continuing to drink. This started around 11 pm and continued until after 7 am and the oldest child was getting herself up and off to school. The 13 year old child hid the alcohol from their mother and helped get them to bed. What child should have to do this?
Why continue listening to this tirade? Due to her recent stay in the hospital to get her medication correct (which didn't seem to work), her living in a place for people getting help with mental heath issues, the fact that she is mixing alcohol and psyche medication and her threats of killing herself all added up to a fear for the welfare of the children and the woman.
When all is said and done and the woman is passed out drunk, missing her mandatory group meeting for getting mental heath disability, where are the kids? Hopefully the 2 oldest kids made it to school, but who is caring for the 3 year old? Mother is obviously not, maybe the high school kid who is living with her cause his family life is so bad, maybe the high school kid took the youngest to daycare. Who knows?
Should you call in a welfare check on your child? I would call just so I have peace of mind that the child is being cared for. Do you even know where the child goes to daycare? Not at all, because that is not important enough information to be shared with the father. Do you know anything about the random teenager caring for your child? Did you even know that they lived there? No to both questions. Is this teen the same teen who she let smoke pot and cigarettes, drink and have sex with his girlfriend in her garage at the last place she lived? Who knows, you obviously don't.
Now I already have had issues with the care the youngest child receives due to him coming for parenting time ill for months at a time. The poor child had an ear infection and sinus infection for 6+ months, then the mother didn't do the follow-up appointments after surgery, so it was another 6 months of yuckiness. The mothers excuse was that she didn't have experience with children with chronic health issues. That would explain the multiple hospital visits for the second oldest child's asthma, because that is not a chronic health condition, just multiple emergencies requiring hospital care.
It is hard for the weekend warrior parent to make and keep medical appointments with specialists that do not have office hours during the time you have the child. Especially when you used to get them a weekday but after having made appointments for them during their time with you, those visits stopped.
This is why you need a custody and parenting time order. So you have the ability to make sure your child is being cared for, even if you have to do it. You have no rights as a parent without that piece of paper. You are unable to go to their daycare, enforce a verbal parenting time agreement or even have a true say in what time the child will be with you for parenting time. You can not schedule anything because who knows when the other parent will show up with the child or show up to pick up the child.
Comments
Post a Comment